We’re going to North Korea! Aki Ra’s Boys has been invited to the Pyongyang International Film Festival – yes, it’s true, they have a festival there. The last one featured films like Bend it Like Beckham and Cry, the Beloved Country. The Dear Leader, we’re told, loves movies and the festival has been described as an unusually cosmopolitan event. Other folks who’ve been aren’t so flattering. This guy can’t quite get over the fact that the event offers no skin, no stars and no schmoozing.

Our trip coincides with the spectacle that is the Mass Games. Can you tell we’re trembling with anticipation?